Getting Started

You have 'strange desires.' Does this mean you're crazy?
No. The AMA's own Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV recognizes that non-pathological paraphilias like fetishes, masochism and sadism can be part of otherwise healthy sexual lifestyles as long as they do not disrupt daily living, are not a danger to those around you and do not inappropriately dominate your life. In other words, Kinky is okay, Crazy is not -- and there is a profound difference between the two.

What about fantasies like Ann Rice's "Beauty" trilogy or "The Story of O?"
There is a huge difference between the fantasy of SM and its reality. Real SM -- even when it involves genuine pain or leaves marks that are more than trifling or transient-- is best performed safely, sanely and with the informed consent of all participants.

Where do I go to find out more?
Go to a Fetish Night. Attend a "munch." Get a good book -- such as "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns." Credible information is easy to find, if you just look for it.

Here's one more tip: visit FetLife , the Facebook of Kink (and it's Free!)